Is it ok to say sometimes that life is not fair?

I know that "everything happens for a reason" and we must "go through trials to get blessings" etc etc...
but it sucks. It really sucks to see your now 2 month old baby so miserable and in so much pain. It sucks to watch him scream as he tries to go the bathroom. It sucks to watch his tiny little body contort in pain....to see and smell him vomit from his reflux and know how much it hurts him.

It really sucks. And I wonder what lesson I am supposed to get out of this?

I was talking to Shawn about it the other day. I told him "you know, as much as I didn't want to be pregnant in the beginning, you would have thought that I would get a nice happy baby to make up for the unexpected surprise"

to which he responds..."this is your payback" Thank you so much for making me feel like crap!

my immediate retort was "I don't think that Heavenly Father would do that!"

so then, what is the reason? I can't see it. And I hate what he is going through.

Christmas is over....

whew, it never fails to amaze me how insane it gets around the holidays.

We had an amazing Christmas this year. The kids are very happy with what they got. I just wish we would have had more sleep before starting the gift opening! LOL

Harrison is still not doing so hot. He started on Zantac for his reflux. He is also on nystatin for the thrush and probiotics for the thrush and his poor messed up digestive system. He still can't pass his stools very well and is quite miserable. I am still beyond exhausted holding him upright all night everynight to sleep on the couch. It will get better one day. In fact, it seems to a bit already since the zantac started...or maybe I am just delusional.

We got a check from the insurance company for our car. it wasn't very much so we had a limited budget to work with to get our new one. I got a picture of the old car before they took it away. It wasn't a very good angle, but you can see some of the damage. we are missing quite a bit off the front..almost a few feet



and here is the new car. it is an older VW Jetta. We found out the first few nights we had it that it does indeed handle well in the snow :)



The kids are all home on Christmas break. It has been a bit insane. Harrison is changing so much everyday and I am glad they have this time to play with him. he had a doctors appointment the other day and at weeks he is 10lb11oz.

If you could buy your own Christmas gifts?

what would you get yourself??? aka...what do you want for Christmas?

I would get
sock yarn which is a big dream cause you need 2 skeins!

and these DPN's to make socks

and these tips for my needles
(or gift certificates to the above stores to buy what I wanted from there later!)

I really like this knitting bag but in this fabric from Michaels

Knitting Pattern a day calendar (also available at all local book stores!)

Some small scissors like this for my knitting bag
they also have some beautiul scissors for cutting fabrics etc. at Joann's

There is also a cool pin cushion that is in the shape of a dress form that is blue and black swirls. I love it!

and some little markers like this or this for specific projects that need to be placed and removed easily.

Of course, for the family, we really need some new pots and pans as ours are getting pretty ratty!
the hard anodized sets like kitchen aid and rachel ray are really good quality pans...but of course, we still need a 12" skillet! like this one that is 12" all the way to the bottom of the pan so it holds enough food for our family size!